I do not heart airports

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why do airports bring out the worst in people? Seemingly intelligent human beings, who manage to get through their every day lives quite efficiently, step into the departures lounge and turn into mindless, idiotic sheep.

First things first, we are all aware of the liquid/zippy bags/100ml rule by now people. There is absolutely no excuse for anyone who has to have a tub of hair wax hauled out of their carryon by security – “Oh, but I didn’t think it was a liquid“.

Then of course we have the “must I take off these steel toe cap boots” people. There you are, in the queue for security, belt off (just in case), zippy bag sealed with your maximum 5 items, laptop ready to be whipped out of it’s sleeve, coat slung over your arm. There they are, wearing a zipped up jacket, a scarf, a silver buckled belt, carrying at least four items of hand luggage and drinking a coffee. When they get to the top of the line, then they start to unzip the jacket, unwrap the scarf, debate the necessity of removing the belt, dig in their pocket for the jar of coins they have on their person. Bonus points to you if this person has ever then turned back half way through the scanner to launch their passport/boarding card back onto their box of belongings.

This same person will then position themselves right beside the exit point of the scanning machine and proceed to pick up all their coins, reloop their belt, rewrap their scarf, put on their jacket & finally lace up their shoes. I really think that airports should rethink that law that says “thou shalt not pick up your box of belongings and move out of the bloody way”.

Finally, I love the queue sheep. You know the ones, the flight gate has barely been announced on the screen and they’re standing by the desk, bags at their feet, triumphant smiles on their faces. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve never once been refused entry to a flight because I didn’t queue for long enough. “We’re sorry madam, you were seen sitting in departures reading a magazine instead of standing for the last hour, I’m afraid we simply cannot allow you to board this flight”.

These are my main airport “friends”. What about you?

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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