I Heart Pop Music

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.netI don’t care what anyone says, pop music makes me happy! Sure, I have some more “sophisticated” selections on my ipod, but right now the song that spins every morning on my way to work is Little Jackie’s “The World Should Revolve Around Me”. It never fails to put a bounce in my step and a smile on my face, as I make my way to another day of cubicle torture on the countdown to my trip. As soon as it starts I’m transported to a beach in Croatia, a bus in China or a temple in Japan. Anyone else have a (slightly embarrassing) pre-trip anthem?

If you don’t know the song you can check it out on youtube but the lyrics go like this:
I take it in stride, one day at a time
If I ask no questions, I’ll hear no lies
How come blessings only come in disguise?
Try them on for size as I vocalize
Ain’t nothing gonna get in between me and my flow
Ain’t nothing gonna come between me and my afro
My man just left me, what do ya know?
Easy come, easy go

He came out of the blue and went right back into it
Had to forfeit because he couldn’t get with it
Called it quits and when it spins
He said he didn’t have time for my juvenile bullshit

I don’t lack failed relationships
I don’t get involved because I’m not equipped
I believe that the world should revolve around me
I don’t see the point in a partnership
It won’t be long until they start to trip
Yessiree. The whole world should revolve around me.

There’s only one me in the galaxy
I am an endangered species
This kind of flower don’t grow on Earth
Just lettin’ you know, for what it’s worth

This kind of mountain shouldn’t cause a depression
So I bide my time with philosophical questions
Not for nothing but what came first
The chicken nugget or the egg mcmuffin?

I got talent and I got tits
I know I’ll find another guy who wants to get with it
I’m not convinced that I’m a big fat bore
One man’s pleasure is another man’s chore

I’ve had a lot of failed relationships
I don’t get involved because I’m not equipped
I believe that the world should revolve around me!
I don’t see the point in a partnership
It won’t be long until they start to trip
Yessiree. The whole world should revolve around me

I know I rock and what I got is hot
And you know I got a lot
Cause all that trippin’ you gotta stop
Before you know it your ass’ll be dropped

I’m not concerned with my biological clock
Since I never grow old my honey’s always in stock
Keep screwing that bitch from down the block
I don’t need you around I know I rock

I’ve had a lot of failed relationships
I don’t get involved because I’m not equipped
I believe that the world should revolve around me!
I don’t see the point in a partnership
It won’t be long until they start to trip
Yessiree. The whole world should revolve around me

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I do not heart airports

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why do airports bring out the worst in people? Seemingly intelligent human beings, who manage to get through their every day lives quite efficiently, step into the departures lounge and turn into mindless, idiotic sheep.

First things first, we are all aware of the liquid/zippy bags/100ml rule by now people. There is absolutely no excuse for anyone who has to have a tub of hair wax hauled out of their carryon by security – “Oh, but I didn’t think it was a liquid“.

Then of course we have the “must I take off these steel toe cap boots” people. There you are, in the queue for security, belt off (just in case), zippy bag sealed with your maximum 5 items, laptop ready to be whipped out of it’s sleeve, coat slung over your arm. There they are, wearing a zipped up jacket, a scarf, a silver buckled belt, carrying at least four items of hand luggage and drinking a coffee. When they get to the top of the line, then they start to unzip the jacket, unwrap the scarf, debate the necessity of removing the belt, dig in their pocket for the jar of coins they have on their person. Bonus points to you if this person has ever then turned back half way through the scanner to launch their passport/boarding card back onto their box of belongings.

This same person will then position themselves right beside the exit point of the scanning machine and proceed to pick up all their coins, reloop their belt, rewrap their scarf, put on their jacket & finally lace up their shoes. I really think that airports should rethink that law that says “thou shalt not pick up your box of belongings and move out of the bloody way”.

Finally, I love the queue sheep. You know the ones, the flight gate has barely been announced on the screen and they’re standing by the desk, bags at their feet, triumphant smiles on their faces. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve never once been refused entry to a flight because I didn’t queue for long enough. “We’re sorry madam, you were seen sitting in departures reading a magazine instead of standing for the last hour, I’m afraid we simply cannot allow you to board this flight”.

These are my main airport “friends”. What about you?

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net